I think of the past in which I had hope and I dream of the future that will never be. A future in which I am happy with someone by my side as my friend, my lover, my companion, my everything. I am an alpha female of a pack that no longer exists with no sight of an alpha male. I don’t want to be alone anymore.
I’ve been alone for so long, almost my whole life. It’s been so long that I can no longer remember the beginning and only hope for the end. I don’t want to live in this filthy world anymore. I want to discard this human body and live on as a wolf. Wild and free, free from all the human rules, the lies and cheats. Live on with better chances of finding my mate.
I’ve been looking for my soul mate for so long that I’ve given up hope. Maybe he’s died and no longer exists. Or maybe there was never anyone here for me to begin with. Maybe I’m just a lost soul put here by mistake. Maybe I’m not supposed to be where which is why I’m so miserable. I don’t belong in this world. I belong somewhere else. But I cannot find that place if I’m trapped in this human body. I go insane as it calls for me.
Year after year I get worst and worst and worst. Does nobody hear my cry? When will this end? I don’t want to live like this anymore. I can’t even call it living. I dream of my death. I hope for my death. I pray for it. Want all my pain, all my suffering to end so I can finally be at peace. I don’t want to be like this anymore. I want to be happy, I want a future. But that’s not to be. I’m trapped in this world where I can only remember the past and wish for a future.
Till I take my own life and spill my own blood…